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I'm just afraid I'm going to end up dead at his hands. I worry about it all the time. I don't know how long I can live with that worry." She sighed. "I think of suicide more and more lately."Jessie looked at her. "Maybe you need to be suicidal." Meggan just stared at her. Sophia gasped. Jessie just went on. "Get to the point where you're going to do it. Get right to that point where you don't care if you live or die. And, right when you get to that point-go after him. You'd have nothing to lose, right?"Meggan looked at her. "She makes good points in a very roundabout kind of way, doesn't she?" Always" Sophia agreed.It happened again that night. The next morning, Josh noticed, but Meggan parried his queries as usual. She sat in class all day, barely aware of where she was. This one was brutal-he decided, after he was done with her pussy, he was going to rape her ass. She could barely sit down.She was in agony all day. She had almost become numb to it, but having her anal virginity. To me with my upbringing it was like a religious revelation that I would actually take another person, another human being inside me. I was surprised to hear that boys had a thing that was meant to go inside girls and that they only had the one hole for peeing and sexing. From the description of some of the boy’s things I didn’t see how one of those could possibly go inside me. I had of course discovered my clitoris and had been guiltily masturbating quite regularly but it was obvious that anything larger than my finger was not practicable, especially the huge things the girls were boasting about.A lot of the talk was about how to enjoy boys without getting pregnant. The favourite method seem to be letting the boy use his fingers between your legs and then put his thing in your mouth to squirt, and swallowing was the best way of keeping your best dress clean. I always wondered what I should do if a boy peed in my mouth instead of squirting. Some girls said if you let a boy put his.
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